Sometimes it so happens that one gets the feeling that one is good or nothing and belongs nowhere; maybe it is just a phase which one should strife to outgrow; as long as it lasts one tends to feel extremely depressed. These feelings occur when one fails someone, one cares dearly for. It creates such a melancholia that it almost reduces one to a great extent it is a time of great personal self, more so if one is not accustomed to get lashed at one's self respect. but the matter is not about self respect either...its just that I guess the sheer inability to meet the expectations of someone for whom one really cares is what throws one into the chasm of depression, the sense of losing, by not being able to live up to some one's expectations and not just anyone but someone who really matters is quite devastating for one's morale. It is at this time when one feels that even the forgiveness would not matter, a sense of being a burden and something which exists only to hinder the way of others, sets in, this is extremely damaging and downright painful.
Only the, hope that one is not completely useless makes one stay sane, perhaps that HOPE is what urges one to carry on, and it is perhaps that same HOPE that maybe, just maybe, one is not completely useless and can come in some use is what eventually returns the lost confidence. This is not a continuous phase but sometimes this phase affects every body's life and although almost everyone finds some way to pull oneself out of this to one's ordinary self, the memory and the feeling of emptiness still lingers on.
The only good thing is it is just a normal phase and each has his own way of dealing with this, and it is but a temporary phase which slowly fades away....But the Pain lingers On.....
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